Barry had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Barry's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Slick took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Barry, stepped out of the boat... And nearly drowned! Slick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Barry went to see his Grandmother, "Grandma he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?" Granny looked deeply into Barry's, troubled eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya idgit!"
Most seniors never get enough exercise. So in His wisdom, God decreed that seniors would become so forgetful that they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things misplaced and so do some walking. And God Looked down and saw that it was good. Then God saw there was yet a need. So God in his wisdom made seniors lose coordination, that they would drop things which would require them to bend and reach and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God considered the functioning of senior bladders and decided that in His wisdom, there might be calls of nature more frequently requiring more trips to the relief station that would burn calories. God looked down and saw that it was good. Seniors were obliged to exercise more from these senior shortcomings and did become more active as a result. So if you find you are required to get up and down more as you age, remember it's God's will and in your best interests even though you mutter under your breath. Amen! Let it be! And it is good.
Chris and Frank were having a beer at the neighborhood bar. "What's the matter?" asked Chris of his pal. "My girlfriend just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin," said Frank. "Why's that?" asked Chris. Frank took a deep breath and said, "Because it's brief, unexpected, and usually a disaster."