CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...
Man who lie under car with tool in hand, not necessarily mechanic
Man who sow wild oats, hope for crop failure
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil in tent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
FINALLY, CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY. . .
"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"
Stupid is: 'Keeping on doing the same thing and expecting a different result'