My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning, can you believe that? 2:30am?
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
<> <> <>
Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.
"Really," says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"
<> <> <>
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
<> <> <>
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the op shop to get all her clothes back.
<> <> <>
A mate of mine admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.
<> <> <>
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin,
3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, "These guys have lost the plot!"
<> <> <>
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70.
"Blow this," I thought, "I can get one cheaper off the web."
<> <> <>
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
<> <> <>
I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
<> <> <>
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
<> <> <>
I was driving this morning when I saw an RACV van parked on the side of the road.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself, "That guy's heading for a breakdown."
<> <>
I just met a fat, alcoholic, transvestite. He wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
<> <> <>
Home 
Portal 
And BBQ's......
and God saw that it was good.
and BBQ's on the beach,
And God saw that it was good.
to provide malt and yeast for beer 
And crustaceans
,chops, sausages,
to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.
