Please login using your username and password to use the forum.

If you do not have an account please register to participate, it’s free!
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
HomeHome  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  


Go down 

Jackaroo Empty
PostSubject: Jackaroo   Jackaroo EmptyTue Jul 10, 2012 11:28 pm

A Queensland jackaroo is overseeing his sheep in remote territory when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the jackaroo, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The jackaroo looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the jackaroo and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That's the right number of beasts, hmm………I guess you can take one”’ says the jackaroo.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his BMW.

Then the jackaroo says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my critter?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You work for the Government”, says the jackaroo.

“Wow! That's correct”, says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required” answered the jackaroo. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for, You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows ........
…………….this is a flock of sheep.............

.............Now gimmee my dog back!!.”
Back to top Go down

Posts : 181
Join date : 2011-06-12
Age : 68
Location : Newbury, Berkshire

Jackaroo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jackaroo   Jackaroo EmptyThu Jul 12, 2012 11:51 am

Brilliant Damien Bloody brilliant. cheers
Back to top Go down
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum :: The Lake Side :: Jokes & Humour-
Jump to: