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Damien
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PostSubject: Hahahaha   Mon Apr 02, 2018 9:35 am

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender says to him, ‘You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.’ The Irishman replies, ‘Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I’m here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days we all drank together.
‘The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, ‘I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.’
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. ‘Oh, no, ‘ he says, ‘Everyone is fine. I’ve just quit drinking!
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: Hahahaha   Mon Apr 02, 2018 9:43 am

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a traffic police. He thinks he’s smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an police officer from West Virginia. The officer asks for license and registration.
The lawyer asks, “What for? Did I make a mistake?”
The officer responds, “You didn’t come to a exactly stop at the stop sign.”
The lawyer says, “I slowed down and nobody was coming.”
“You still didn’t come to a complete stop. License and registration please,” say the cop impatiently .
The lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you can give me the traffic ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the traffic ticket.”
The cop says, “That sounds fair, please exit your car.”
The lawyer steps out and the cop takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it.
The cop says, “Do you want me to stop or just slow down?”
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: Hahahaha   Wed Apr 04, 2018 9:46 am

A guy walking along the beach finds a old bottle, picks it up and opens it. A genie pops out and says, "Thanks for letting me out. For your kindness I will grant you one wish." The guys says, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I can't because I'm afraid to fly and ships make me deathly sick. My wish is for you to build a road from here to Hawaii." The genie says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Think of the huge pilings we'd need to hold up that highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. And think of all the cement that would be needed. Plus, since it's such a long span, there would have to be gas stations and rest stops along the way. No, that's just too much to ask. Impossible." The guy says, "Well, there is one thing I've always wanted to know. I'd like to be able to understand women. . . what makes them laugh and cry, why they're so temperamental, why they are so difficult to get along with...you know, what makes them tick." The genie thinks a second, then asks, "You want two lanes or four?' 
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davidjt
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PostSubject: Re: Hahahaha   Wed Apr 04, 2018 10:37 am

2thumbsup 2thumbsup 2thumbsup 2thumbsup 2thumbsup like the last one

david
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