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 YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:

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Damien
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PostSubject: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Thu Jan 26, 2012 1:12 am

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:
* You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
* You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
* You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
* You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
* You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
* You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
* You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
* You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
* You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
* You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
* You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
* You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
* Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.
* You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' And "Living next door to Alice".
* You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
* You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
* Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
* You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite.
* You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
* You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
* Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
* You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
* You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
* When working in a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
* You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
* You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
* You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
* You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
* You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
* You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad.
* You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
* You understand what no wucking furries means.
* You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
* You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
* You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.
* You have a thong tan...not on your arse!
* And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!!
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Fri Jan 27, 2012 11:26 pm

A reply from a expat Brit on the forum I copied the original from.


I dunno why the Ozzies left Britland. Oh, that’s right – we made them.
Look what you’re missing in the old mother country…

We believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday daytime is also entirely reasonable.
We’re always half an hour late to work … no-one notices or cares.
Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.
We step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.
We don’t even bother looking out of the window when we get up in the morning to check what the day is like. We know it is overcast.
We dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!). Of course, we don’t have funny accents (unless from Liverpool, Newcastle, Scotland, Wales, Cornwall…)
We can’t remember what ‘customer service’ means.
After a big night we you find ourselves looking for a Curry house
More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
We don’t think twice about tipping our hairdresser
We finish every sentence with ‘Cheers’, ‘Yeah’, or ‘Innit’.
We only just realise we have lost our sunglasses, having left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
We’re on our 6th umbrella this year
We bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco, and stored it in the garage.
A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes we own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn’t even enter our head.
We always call soccer football and we have a team and it’s not Manchester United.
We don’t think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to our underwear
We’ve accepted queuing as a way of life.
We think there is nothing wrong with France that a spate of neutron bombs wouldn’t put right.
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grub
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PostSubject: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Sat Jan 28, 2012 11:22 am

Laughing
I still don't like what Wikipedia offers up though when you type 'define an english person' into Google Evil or Very Mad
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Norseman
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PostSubject: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:34 pm

We might not Grub, but the guys in Oz will just love it.

Dave
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grub
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PostSubject: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:38 pm

That's why I thought I'd mention it Dave Laughing
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:29 pm

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
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Norseman
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PostSubject: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:24 pm

I bet you can't post that info off quick enough eh Damien? Wink

The old fingers moving like Liberace's on Speed >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>cheers

Phones ringing out in places like
The Betoota Hotel
Birdsville Developmental Rd
Betoota
Australia
QLD 4482

Ah well - enjoy it mate - I would.

Dave
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Sat Jan 28, 2012 11:03 pm

Fingers didn't work overtime copy & paste is quicker lol!

I didn't cope wicki assessment either not juicy enough lol! lol! lol! lol!
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Norseman
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PostSubject: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:    Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:42 am

Anyone moved into Betoota?

Dave
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