Posts : 14 Join date : 2011-06-14 Location : Brisbane, Sunshine State, Qld, Australia
Subject: Grandfather of the year Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:03 am
Grandfather of the Year
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson.
He has his hands full with the child screaming for candy, cookies, all sorts of things. The grandpa is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy boy."
The boy has another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say :
"It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, son." At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the shopping cart.
Grandpa says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset.
We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William." Very impressed, she goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.
She says: "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it.
That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got,
you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks," says the grandpa, "but I am William. This little bastool's name is Kevin".
Martin555 likes this post
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Subject: Re: Grandfather of the year Tue Sep 25, 2018 1:00 am
An old blacksmith realized he was going to have to quit working so hard. So, he picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the young apprentice. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Nod. . . . . . . Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
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Subject: Re: Grandfather of the year Tue Sep 25, 2018 1:06 am
A young couple came into the church office to fill
out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite
nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, "Are you entering this
marriage of your own free will?" there was a long pause.
Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down yes."
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Subject: Re: Grandfather of the year Tue Sep 25, 2018 1:46 am
This woman's husband had been slipping in and
out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed
by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all
the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you
were there. When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still
by my side... You know what? "What dear", she gently asked, smiling as her heart
began to fill with warmth."I think you're bad luck."
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Subject: Re: Grandfather of the year Mon Oct 01, 2018 12:52 am
On the examination paper the Professor demanded that the students sign a form stating that they had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God. The Professor carefully studied his answer and told him, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."
Son: "Dad, did you go to church when you were little?" Dad: "Yes, son, every single Sunday." Son: "I thought so. Bet it won't do me any good either."
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