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Damien
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PostSubject: Hahaha   Thu Apr 19, 2018 4:05 am

Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below. Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. - Sister Barbara," on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills. "What's this?" she asked. "That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied. "Don't Despair paid 80-to-1. 
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: Hahaha   Thu Apr 19, 2018 4:08 am


I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers. My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we were all dressed in matching clothes. I asked my mother why she dressed us all alike, right down to the baby. She explained, "When we had just four children, I dressed you alike so we wouldn't lose any of you. Then," she added, looking at the pictures in the album, "When the other four came along, I started dressing you alike so we won't pick up any that don't belong to us. 
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davidjt
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PostSubject: Re: Hahaha   Thu Apr 19, 2018 7:10 am

2thumbsup 2thumbsup 2thumbsup 2thumbsup lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: Hahaha   Fri Apr 20, 2018 7:45 am

It's 3:00 A.M. and Goldie wakes up to see her husband pacing the floor. "Morris, why can't you sleep?" she asks him. "You know our next door neighbor, Sam. I borrowed $1000 from him, and it's due tomorrow morning and I don't have the money.. I don't know what I'm going to do." Morris replies. Goldie gets out of bed and opens the window. "Sam," she shouts, and several times more, "Sam, Sam." Finally a very groggy Sam opens the window opposite her and yells back, "What, what is it...it's 3 AM, what do you want?" Goldie says, "You know the $1000 my husband owes you? He doesn't have it." She then slams the window shut and turns to Morris and says, now you go to sleep and let Sam pace the floor." 
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: Hahaha   Sun May 06, 2018 12:59 am

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, had dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4 inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yeah, but who wants HIM back?" 
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: Hahaha   Sun May 06, 2018 12:59 am

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Fred, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Fred replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars. 
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: Hahaha   Sat May 12, 2018 1:45 am

Two out of work bums decided that they would be better off in a more downtown location so they hitched a ride. The driver dropped them off in the city's red-light district. A hooker approached one of the bums and said, "Say guy... Would you like a hand job?" The bum shook his head and said, "Errr... no, it's ok." A few minutes later another hooker approached the bums and said, "Say guys... Would you like a blow job?" The bum again shook his head and said, "Errr... no, it's ok." After the hooker left the bum turned to his buddy and said, "We'd better go back where we came from. We've only been here 10 minutes, and we've been offered two jobs already!" 
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Damien
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PostSubject: Re: Hahaha   Sat May 12, 2018 1:54 am

I married Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was “Always.”
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PostSubject: Re: Hahaha   Sat May 12, 2018 7:35 am

2thumbsup 2thumbsup 2thumbsup 2thumbsup 2thumbsup

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