Drunk.

Guest

James has had a little too much to drink celebrating Easter Day but nevertheless he stupidly decides to drive home.
Of course, his car is weaving all over the road and he gets pulled over by police.
The police officer looks at him and says, “So, where have you been?”
James slurs, “Why, I’ve been to the pub of course.”
“Well,” says the police, “It look’s like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening.”
“I did all right,” replies James with a smile.
The officer stands up straight and folds his arms across his chest, as he asks, “Did you realise that a few intersections back your wife fell out of the car?”
James says, “Oh,halleluja ! For a moment there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”

Guest

NASA will send a man to Mars. Only one person can go, and the person who goes will not come back. The first candidate is an engineer.
Authorities asked; “How much do you want for this job?”
-“1 Million Dollars” and added “I’ll donate it for technological researches.”
The second candidate is a doctor. His answer is;

– Two million dollars. I will give one million to my family and I will donate one million for medical research.
The third candidate is a crafty marketer and he wanted $ 3 Million. Authorities asked;
– Why do you want $ 3 millions?
The cunning marketer, leaning toward the authorities, with a low voice:
– I will take 1 million, give 1 million to you, and you will send the engineer to Mars for 1 million dollars.